There was once a man named Greg who wanted a perfect wife.
He put a five-karat diamond on a platinum band,
Then shoved it to base of his penis.
‘The first girl,’ he said, ‘to retrieve it completely hands-off,
keeps the prize.’
I saw him two years later in Portland,
the five-karat diamond gleaming spectacularly
on the right hand of his companion.
‘I’m Tom,’ his spouse said as he shook my hand
the platinum band pushed to the base of his ring finger,
‘Gregory speaks so highly of you.’
“And of you too.”